"In It" Part 12

Less about the outcome, more about the journey

I start a book writing class on Tuesday. Like usual, I am feeling all the things - excited, daunted, ready, inadequate, curious and overwhelmed. Mostly though, I am feeling grateful.

I have always loved school. For years, I said that I could be a perpetual student, and I guess in some ways I have been that - swapping the traditional classroom for the library of life. Parenting, mountain biking, agriculture, relationships - I continue to be a student of all of these things. Life is a series of perpetual lessons, and I love it - learning makes me feel alive.

Now, flowing back into more traditional learning, I'm expanding my life’s library - exploring something I love, something I want to cultivate, something that will help me contribute meaningfully. At this stage of life, the decision feels incredibly purposeful.

Past me would never have shared something like this. I was so focused on achieving successful outcomes that I avoided discussing college applications, job prospects, or contest submissions. The idea of someone asking about potential failures felt mortifying, so I kept such risks close.

That cautious approach now feels isolating and lonely. It turns out I actually feel more supported when I let people in. We all enjoy successes and failures every day, and it helps to have people with us celebrating victories, commiserating defeats and encouraging us along the way.

I realize that having people with me for the journey is what counts. Outcomes are great, but that’s not where we spend the bulk of our lives, it’s not where we learn the most, it’s not where we need the most help.

When I first started writing my “in it” series, I was very much in the thick of figuring out how to transition in my career and in life. Through eleven installments, I took many of you on a meandering journey through the recesses of my brain. Sometimes I felt positive and optimistic, other times totally confused. My intent with the series was to write about this messy life in real time. It’s great to look back and evaluate with hindsight, for it is often with this retrospective view that we can see the larger picture, glean nuggets of wisdom, gain insights and apply them to the future. But we often need to know that the process of figuring out life is not always so neat and tidy. It’s a bit of a jumble, and I’m committed to sharing the jumble.

So here we are, I am bringing you back “in it” with me as I begin to explore what it takes to write a book. As I prepare for my first class…

• I don’t know if my idea will work - it’s not even fully formed.

  • I do know that this idea is worth exploring (I’ll likely share more as this unfolds).

• I don’t know how I’ll find the time and energy to balance all of the things - work, kids, bike-racing, nonprofit.

  • I do know that I’ll need to let some things go.

• Even if I do end up crafting this book, I don’t know if it will get published.

  • I do know that I want to try.

In my years of competitive running, I always remember learning more from the tough races than the great ones. I’ve also learned that I need people in my corner to help me remember that my goal is not to focus on the outcome but to keep taking steps forward, to keep learning and growing along the way.

I am excited to share thoughts and ideas with all of you and grateful for your support as I jump back “in it.”

I start Tuesday.