I have complicated feelings about book lists. I love them. But I also don’t love them. They are my own personal squirrels.
I can’t resist opening the notification that pops up announcing the latest “must reads” or anticipating the weekly email I get from the online book coop, Tertulia, with personalized picks just for me. And then there are book recommendations that come from friends and lists from writers I subscribe to here on Substack.
I want to read them all.
As my list grows far beyond what I can reasonably consume, I feel delightfully overwhelmed. I also can’t help but find humor in my frustration. Reading about the books I want to read distracts me from actually reading the books.
But for me, this type of distraction is not limited to books:
I’ll be cleaning one part of the house and abandon it when I see another that needs attention.
I find myself on trips researching where to go next.
I sit down to write and am suddenly engrossed in reading tips on how to write, most of which instruct me to do the very thing I am avoiding - write!
The information surrounding my desired action often becomes my biggest distraction. I wonder what it is that draws me to these related distractions? In some cases, it’s procrastination. I may not yet be super into a book, or in the case of cleaning, there is no shortage of choices of what to tackle first. In other cases, it’s the lure and excitement of the undiscovered. I am not afraid of missing out per se, but feel an insatiable curiosity to learn, see and do more.
While these “squirrel” moments seem counterproductive (and they often are!), they can offer unexpected benefits if I am able to maintain balance between planning and doing.
By reading book lists, I discover intriguing new titles, explore topics and meet new authors. Even if I haven’t gotten to reading them yet, just knowing connects me to new people and ideas.
I might clean out a drawer I never intended on opening and find something that had been lost or savor a memory of the past.
I may pick up a writing tip, read an impactful quote, or get a prompt that resonates deeply and unlocks a new way of thinking.
And in the non-productive times, I find myself tunneling down a forking rabbit hole - the list led me to discover a new author that led me to “people also purchased” lists which takes me to reviews…suddenly it’s been an hour and I feel unfulfilled.
Balance. That important, elusive word.
I often contemplate this concept of balance - finding that personally unique sweet spot that exists in all facets of what we do.
Work & Play
Exercise & Rest
Doing things for ourselves & giving to others
Focus & distraction
Most things in life, and definitely those I have listed above, exist along a spectrum and, even though it’s tempting, easier, and tidy to create either/or dichotomies, we can stand to be a little less binary in our thinking. Our lives are nuanced, and we exist mostly in a world where paradox is our reality - two seemingly opposing concepts can be simultaneously true. I can enjoy book lists and not always be distracted by them. I can make time to work and find time to play.
And that fulcrum where we find balance can shift over time. For me, it often it takes moving too far to one side before I realize, “oops!” and need to come back the other direction. In fact, my nightstand situation, a precariously stacked assortment of library books, biographies, non-fiction titles and novels, is a good indication that my recent book-list-reading-distraction is out of balance, and pulling myself back toward focus may help stabilize this teetering stack.
I have no solution for managing life’s balancing act. I think it is different for each of us and varies with each element of our lives. Today, I am amused by the fact that my biggest distractions come from planning for the very thing I am trying to do, and I anticipate that I am not alone in this. I’d love to hear what ironic distractions make balance tricky in your lives.