Tailwinds

Do we notice them or only feel the headwinds?

I went for a long bike ride this past weekend and had ample time to ponder lots of things. At some point, my mind wandered to headwinds. You create your own wind on the bike as you propel yourself forward, and you feel even the slightest of breezes. A strong headwind is tough to pedal into, and your effort can feel thwarted as your heart rate goes up and your speed plummets. But it’s hard to notice a tailwind. Sure, you don’t feel the extra wind in your face, but you don’t always notice it pushing you. Sometimes I chalk up my increased MPHs to high levels of fitness - my work has paid off - and while that may be true, a nice, strong tailwind, usually has something to do with it. 

On some rides, it feels that I am always riding into a headwind, which makes little sense, given that at some point, I have to turn around and go home. Objectively I know that the winds aren’t always working against me, but it can certainly feel that way.

As I rode, I realized that I always notice, and sometimes curse, the headwinds, but I rarely take time to appreciate the tailwinds. If this happens on the bike, what about the winds of our lives? 

As I pedaled, I kept thinking…

We always know when things don’t go our way, but the majority of times things go quite smoothly. Am I noticing that? 

Just this weekend:

• We emerged from a friend’s to find a nail in our tire, which meant an unplanned trip to get it repaired. 

• When I was grinding the beans for coffee, I was a bit clumsy and inadvertently spilled a bunch of grounds all over the floor. 

• Beta, my pup, chewed a hole in his new sleeping bag (yes, I bought my dog a sleeping bag!), and I spent 30 minutes sewing it. 

As I think about these seemingly negative things, two lessons come to mind: 

1. Unexpected Benefits

Each of these bummers had positives that came from them. Yes, they were unexpected additions to the day, but not without merit. 

• I had 20 minutes all to myself to read while waiting for the car tire to be repaired 

• I didn’t spill all of the coffee I had ground, just a little bit, and where it fell was exactly the spot that I had missed when vacuuming earlier in the day, so I was able to get those crumbs too. 

• My mind wandered as I sewed Beta’s sleeping bag, giving me ideas of more things to write about.

After reading Sean Achor’s The Happiness Advantage, I remember sharing with my kids the idea that we can look at situations through positively tinted glasses and see the opportunity, even in adversity, or we can look at that same situation through negatively tinted lenses and see only our misfortune. It’s so easy to fall victim to the latter. 

While finding the bright spots in light of challenges is important, it's equally powerful to recognize and appreciate the moments when things go right.

2. Acknowledging the Expected

When life goes smoothly, as expected, it’s easy to take it for granted. But if we take a minute to reflect on just a short period of our lives, yesterday, for example or perhaps the morning, think about all that has transpired without incident. 

Just this morning, I woke up to my early alarm, made it to the airport with time to spare, remembered to pack my ID, and encountered no hiccups on the drive or with my flight. If any one of those things had gone differently I would have felt the headwind - I could have forgotten my ID, had car trouble or run into traffic; my flight could have been cancelled. But none of that happened. I had tailwinds all the way. Reflecting on this now impacts my overall well-being and has left me feeling quite good, content and appreciative. A bit of gratitude for something as mundane as “things went as planned.”

I think too about this idea as it applies to our relationships. We deeply feel the headwinds - the admonishments, the arguments, the adversity. But what about our tailwinds? Do we relish the adaptations we make for one another, the adoration we share, the allowances we make for others to join us on this journey of life? 

I think I can do this more, both for myself and for my family. I try hard to recognize when my boys do things well, but I know they hear much more of how they can improve than they do of what’s working and what they get right. By acknowledging the tailwinds more regularly, I wonder if I can make the headwinds less strong? I think it’s worth trying.

Every once in a while, it's worth noticing that life's pedaling is a little easier, and we can feel buoyed by focusing on what's going well rather than dwelling on the challenges we face. 

I wonder about you, any tailwinds you’ve experienced today, this week, this month?