The Thank You Note

Before I wax on about the merits of the thank you note, I have one for you.

Dear Readers,

Over 100 of you have subscribed to Noticing since I launched it two weeks ago. 

Wow!

I am deeply humbled and grateful for your support and caring, for your likes, comments and emails.

Your thoughts and ideas give me new things to think about and encourage me to continue. For this I am so grateful.

While deciding to make my writing public was something I chose with deliberate intent, every time I publish a post it is not without some apprehension. I write because I feel a deep need to write, but I also hope that what I share feels connecting and meaningful. I hope it makes sense. I hope it makes you think. 

Thank you for helping foster my sense of excitement. 

I have so many ideas for the future, and it feels possible together. 

Onward we go. 

With love & gratitude, 

Kristi 

Writing this to you has me thinking about my long history with thank you notes. 

I asked my son to describe what gratitude looks like and then prompted Midjourney based on his reply: /imagine a field of mountain wildflowers in watercolor style

Twice a year (post Christmas and birthday) I have memories of sitting on my bed with a little writing tray, stationery, and a list of thank you notes to write. I was usually a little grumpy as I looked at the daunting list standing between me and creating some new garden stew concoction with my sister. But thanks to my mom, a gift was never to go unacknowledged. And who was I to feel any distain after having been the recipient of such generosity- guilt. 

So write the notes I would. 

At some point the writing became voluntary. My mom no longer enforces the practice, though her voice is still in my head reminding me that for those handful of minutes it takes me to write, I am focused solely on the recipient, expressing gratitude for a piece of themselves they chose to share with me. That feels meaningful, something worthy of my time. 

Over the years, I have learned that the note doesn’t have to be long, it doesn’t have to be eloquent, it doesn’t require perfect penmanship. The point is that it happens at all. I have learned that I prefer to include something specific - an anecdote or a feeling - something that connects me to the recipient. 

When it’s hard to come up with something to write, I think about what feels most meaningful to me or what I think matters to the person I am writing to. That usually gets me started. 

I remember interviewing candidates for an open position once, and a candidate that ultimately got the job took time to send personalized notes to each of the interview panelists that was unique and referenced something they had said during the interview. It was really impressive. It has stayed with me. 

Another time, I received a note from a former student letting me know how I had impacted her graduate school experience. I was deeply touched. 

The most impactful acknowledgments of gratitude don’t have to be for a physical gift. A note letting someone know the impact they have had on you can be incredibly meaningful. 

And now with two boys of my own, I have assumed the role of my mother and they are continuing the practice. I used to get groans, it used to take hours, but slowly, just as I went through a transformation all those years ago, I see glimmers of them too seeing the value of the thank you note. 

Just as I thank you, I wonder if you have a gratitude recipient in mind? Remember:

It doesn’t have to be long.
It doesn't have to be perfect.
It can just be.
A moment of connection
An expression of thanks.
And that is enough.