The Unexpected Power of our Quirks
Port-a-potty radar, hoods and trash
I can tell you where all of the port-a-potties are in a five mile radius of my house. Yes, this is a true, quirky fact about me.
And there are others:
I derive an almost giddy satisfaction from organizing trash, especially on backpacking trips. Folding each oatmeal packet, dehydrated food container and Cliff bar wrapper into just the right shape to fit in our trash bag and then removing all of the air so it takes up as little room as possible feels incredibly gratifying.
There is something about a good hooded sweatshirt - pulling a big hood up around my face and over my ears makes me feel like a Jedi - safe, a bit clandestine, empowered.
I subscribe to road closure text alerts for Yellowstone National Park and monitor them even when I don’t have a pending trip. When I get an alert, I feel an intimacy with a place I love.
Our quirks can offer personal amusement or, if we feel insecure about them, may serve as fodder for personal judgement. Being able to share these oddities offers an opportunity for human connection and a possible antidote to that negative self talk. Peculiarities are human. They make us unique, give us character and allow us to relate to others - even in the most random of ways.
Getting to know someone involves discovering their idiosyncrasies and earning access to unexpected aspects of their personality. In sharing my idea for this post with a friend, I learned that we share a quirk. Chatting about something we had never consciously articulated fostered camaraderie between us and deepened our mutual understanding. It can be tough to explain our quirks, but when I've leaned into vulnerability and tried, I've been met with acceptance and curiosity. Whether or not others share my trait, owning my uniqueness has increased my self-understanding and built confidence.
I was once part of a job interview panel that opened the conversation by asking the candidate to share a quirk about themselves. To put them more at ease, the panel went first. It was a playful way to get to know one another and explore our humanity - even the things that might be embarrassing or we are not so sure about. By courageously sharing these aspects of ourselves, we often discover that we aren't alone, finding solidarity and connection in what we may share as humans.
Which brings me back to port-a-potties.
Without fail, and about once a week, I go for a run and find myself in need of a bathroom. Making it home is usually out of the question. So I’ve subconsciously adopted a sort of port-a-potty radar and built an inventory of all construction sites, public parks and gas stations in my neighborhood where potties are located and open (some close in the winter).
While this info helps me out frequently, it’s also helped out a fellow runner/walker on occasion when I can point them in the right direction should they too be in dire straights.
So, next time you feel self-conscious about a characteristic you may find eccentric, consider embracing it and even sharing it with someone. It may be a key to unlocking the the door to a rich, meaningful relationship or just a fun point of connection.
I’d love to learn about your endearing quirks. How have they helped you connect with others or find joy in unexpected places?
I was dying because I do the same thing on port-a potties. On Sunday I was oh there is a new option when walking through the new park they are building in River Heights.